22 Weeks

Well I am 22 weeks along now and she's kicking the crap out of me. Sienna I thought was mello compared to Sanora and is still true but wholy cow. I'm starting to take up alot of room in the bed, poor Bryan. I'm loving it, but I am still enjoying the pauses inbetween, the kicks, lol. At this stage in our pregnancy with Sanora we where moved into the appartment on Camran street on Haloween and between knowing the sex and moving is when i started to settle down and Bryan and I started to connect again. The most memorable is the fact that Bryan started tickling my back every night, I loved that.....I'm hoping it starts with this pregnancy,lol. I wouldn't push my luck though, he's been doing so much already. Hand delivering trays of sushi at work, chocolates and gifts.....who can complain.

Christmas Decorating

I had this weekend off and first thing yesterday I woke up to Bryan cooking Sanora and I a full breakfast. This morning he was off first thing for a contract that he is working on. I braught up all the christmas decorations and Bryan and got some of them put up. When Bryan came home he came with the same sea shell treasures that my mom use to get me and a giant nutcracker that my mom would have gone extatic over. I started crying, I was so touched. A little bit of though goes a long way, and man did he make me feel good today. We're watching christmas movies and drinking hotchocolate to celebrate the season. We are definantly having a white christmas,lol.

clearity after chaos

Well it has been crazy, everyday I still find it hard to believe that december is coming up so soon. I am 23 weeks along and and it difinantly seems to be going by faster than when I was pregnant with Sanora. It's getting colder now, it's been -25 and with windchill -30. I don't mind the cold at all, I don't really seem to think much of it. I know I like here by that, when you like where you are or who you're with the bad things you just kinda stop noticing. Since we have been here, it's like that man that married became the man that I always though he could be and then some. Bryan changed from the trip up here and every day keeps changing. Bryan before never was keeping up with me, and i am starting to think if I don't watch out I wont be able to keep up with him. There are times when I thought it would just be easier to give up one him. I think it is like when you completely reorganize your house, it usually becomes chaos before it becomes clean. I'm just so anxious to go to school again, I feel so uneducated, ahhh and of course I can't wait for the baby to be born. It's neat to have that feeling, what is she going to look like, is she going to be like Bryan or me, or neither? Well I guess we'll have to see.

Gerri in the news

Well I got the e-mail from my dad saying that Gerri was in newsnet, which is CBC news on line but you have to pay for it so I just spend an hour looking through the photos and hedlines but she was headlined in the news for the rememberance day cerimony on Friday (they are 12 hours ahead) so if you watch the news chances are that you might have seen her. I beam with pride when I hear about this, I am very proud of Gerri-Anne and I can't wait to see her again. In respect for my sister what I did for this rememberance day I went through every picture and write up of those soldiers that have passed away. Alot of them had families and kids, and allthough I was thinking of my grandfather that has passed on now 4 years November 4th, but I thought more about those soldiers, and there families because rememberance day has a new special meaning for them.

I just found the movie that Gerri is in

http://www.cbc.ca/world/story/2006/11/11/kandahar-remembrance.html

This takes you to CBC news and on the right hand side there is an option to see a movie. At 1:10 you will see Gerri-Anne, sor a 5 second clip.

Beautiful kids

There is nothing more beautiful than life inside of you. The feeling of the baby kicking and rolling around is like a warm summer day when you feel nothing can go wrong. Sienna gives such light to my days, I giggle to my self when I can feel her moving. Sanora is so seet it makes my day when sanora asks to see my belly and then listens and kisses it. As much as she is confused she's probebly 5 times more excited. When I told Sanora that she gets to tech Sienna all kinds of new things Sanora jumped up and down. I think she's really excited about that. I am conforted by the fact that Sanora will never be alown, she never walk life alone again, it is my gift to her. I also feel complete, like part of my mission in life is done. Next for me is school,lol! My mission is to get a degree and work in the forestry which would give us the income of twice we are earning combined (has nothing to do with why I want to go into forestry) so that Bryan can consentrate on his art stress free and create as he wants and needs to create. Life is good and always getting better.

The baby is a.....

Well the baby is a girl, we're naming her Sienna Gweneth Marshall. There are still chances that it might be a boy so beware of that if your getting anything for the baby. We're still going neutral colours for things aswell. We got to see and feel the baby kicking at the same time, it was amazing. We held up the ultrasound of Sanora to Sienna's and they look like the same kid in there,lol. They have the same nose and the same profile, it's really cool, I can't wait. I phoned My dad, Grandma, Aunty Jan, and Gerri-Anne. I was going to torture Gerri and make her wait to get her letter but she got mad at me for that so I told her anyway,lol. BOssy thing she is....must be the red hair!! Anyway, I feel very happy and excited about eveything. I kinda wished that it was a boy so he could have the middle name Gary and to be the first with a boy in our family. All that matters is that the baby is healthy so it doesn't really matter what it is. I just like to have a name for the baby, it feels so much moe personal for me.

suprise suprise

well I was at work the other day who should come into my work but Jordon Gerk, a friend from highschool. I actually kinda sorta lived with him for about a week or 2 in vancouver. Jordon actually moved here in June so just a little after us, and is getting married next year. It was really cool to see him and i will probebly see him more around town, especially because I kept thinking that I saw him him all summer and it probebly was him.

Ultrasound tomorrow, I'm really excited.

Beautiful Day

Today was such a beautiful day. The air is so crisp here and I love going down 2 mile hill, beautiful mountains! I want to appologize to one of my sisters, because I feel that i have come off as insensitive. November 3rd is a happy day for me, more of one to rejoice. The hard days I find is the month of january, one day being when she left and the other the day sanora was born and mom didn't get to see her. If I came off as being rude I'm sorry, joking around probebly not the best thing to do.

Monday is suppost to reach -48! Isn't that crazy, well winter is sure on it's way so we'll see what it brings. I love everything the Yukon has to offer so far......but if only we can grow fruit trees here. The ultrasound is also on Monday so I hope that we can find the sex out, if we don't I will be very angry. I will let everyone know how it turns out.

Happy Birthday Mom!

Well 4 years have gone by since my mom died and this will be the 4th birthday she's not here with us for us to sing happy birthday to her. We do in our hearts and with our memories and that is the most important thing. My mother is not gone though, she is inside me and I see it every day. My hardest time that I went though was in the 1st and second year. I was a new mom without a mom and everyone was dealing in there own. I was a very confused person at that time, and now things are so clear for me and all I do is remember and smile on these days. We are going to do christmas right and big this year, I plan to start decorating these next few days. I send my love to everyone on this day knowing everyones thoughts are in the same place.

Crazy it's already November

Some times I feel like I am 2 people, there is the mello earthyness that often plays tug-a-war with my funky eclectic side. It's hard because at work I can't show very much of myself at all, or the staff doesn't respect me. It's the number one thing I hate about managment. I also don't feel like myself to add to it all, I'm so maternal right now. It's of course not a bad thing, but it's wierd to be back in the position of being pregnant again. With every step of pregnancy, I think back to what I felt when I was pregnant with sanora. Those worlds could not be farther apart, age and marriage are the big ones. It almost seams stranger that it feels so natural to be pregnant and loving every step of it. I feel bad for sanora because I spent the whole pregnancy trying to pertend I wasn't pregnant or trying to cover up the fact I was pregnant. There wasn't to much happy times leading up to her birth and the only people that really supported me was the parents which I am very thankful of. I was very proud to be having her after such a hard time, life after death, she was like a beautiful angle. Sanora was what helped me through everything, she's my angle. Than again at my grandfathers funeral the sounds of Sanora where there to remind everyone again of life and what it brings, I again was very proud to be her mother. If my mother was here today she would be a very happy woman, 3 grandkids and a 4th on the way, she loved her grandkids. I see so much of my mom in sanora too. I guess I am having a sentimental moment and had to write it down,lol!

Halloween Pictures

I worked this Halloweenso BRyan took her out. They went down one street and had half a bag full. I am told that after there snowy walk through the streets that they went over to a friend of a friends house Jen and Jeff I think. Sanora came by the store with a face full of chocolate and a very big smile on her face. I made her costume from scratch and was very happy to see her in it, though my improvising on the pants didn't work as planned,lol!