Crazy it's already November

Some times I feel like I am 2 people, there is the mello earthyness that often plays tug-a-war with my funky eclectic side. It's hard because at work I can't show very much of myself at all, or the staff doesn't respect me. It's the number one thing I hate about managment. I also don't feel like myself to add to it all, I'm so maternal right now. It's of course not a bad thing, but it's wierd to be back in the position of being pregnant again. With every step of pregnancy, I think back to what I felt when I was pregnant with sanora. Those worlds could not be farther apart, age and marriage are the big ones. It almost seams stranger that it feels so natural to be pregnant and loving every step of it. I feel bad for sanora because I spent the whole pregnancy trying to pertend I wasn't pregnant or trying to cover up the fact I was pregnant. There wasn't to much happy times leading up to her birth and the only people that really supported me was the parents which I am very thankful of. I was very proud to be having her after such a hard time, life after death, she was like a beautiful angle. Sanora was what helped me through everything, she's my angle. Than again at my grandfathers funeral the sounds of Sanora where there to remind everyone again of life and what it brings, I again was very proud to be her mother. If my mother was here today she would be a very happy woman, 3 grandkids and a 4th on the way, she loved her grandkids. I see so much of my mom in sanora too. I guess I am having a sentimental moment and had to write it down,lol!